How Do You Know if You are Loving Yourself?


Ask yourself the following questions:

·     Do you find yourself making excuses when someone asks you to do something for them because you feel guilty just saying no?

·     Do you resent your decision after saying yes?

If you said yes to any of these questions you are not alone! I personally did these things for many, many years until I finally freed myself from this negative cycle. I want to make it clear, there is nothing wrong with doing nice things for others as long as you don’t put yourself on the backburner or beat up yourself about it later.  Your worth and value should not be based on what you do for others, what they think of you, or what their expectations are. That, my friend, makes you a people pleaser and is a clear sign that you need to work on loving yourself PRONTO!  

We have to learn to love ourselves and to be ok with saying NO. Think about it, if you have other commitments already why would you add more to your plate? Aren’t you as important as those people whom you are trying to please? I understand this is not easy to do at first. What we fail to realize is that we have been doing this for so long that it became a pattern. You might be asking; how did we end up like that? Simple, we care about what others think and feel about us and we forget about ourselves. 

Sounds crazy right? I know, and I’m here to tell you that this is a pattern that I had to break out of my own life. I had layers and layers of guilt and condemnation stored for years. I needed to let them go as they were keeping me from being the best version of myself. I remember how guilty I used to feel when I started to put everyone on 30-day notice about things there were no longer acceptable to me.  In my head, I would go on and on about how bad of a person I was simply because I started to love myself.  However, I was not going to make myself available for people who would not made themselves available for me. 

Things started to feel a lot different. I felt refreshed and joyful. The things that I now committed to were things that made MY Heart sing. That was huge for me! I started to feel the freedom of being able to take time for myself to recharge and reconnect with the person that I had abandoned for so long.  

Let me be clear, selfcare is not about being selfish or self-centered.  Many people confuse one with the other.  According to the dictionary selfcare is “the practice of taking action to preserve or improve one’s own health”. Remember, committing to everyone and everything is the fastest way to burn yourself out or even worse. Selfcare is maintaining a balance lifestyle so that you can be healthy, feel content, and confident about yourself. Selfishness is when you only care about yourself and don’t consider others. Definitely not the same.   

The more we practice self-care the easier it will get. Little by little you will begin to see positive changes in all areas of your life. Start small.  Have compassion and patience with yourself in the process. It might feel weird at first as this is completely out of the norm but, my friend, you are worth it! Invest time on you. Once you start to experience the peace and joy that loving yourself will bring to your life you will never be the same. 

I Invite you to start walking the path of loving yourself through selfcare. I encourage you to start by spending time alone, do something good for yourself every single day and allow yourself to simply BE.  Hey, you can’t give what you don’t have

I thank you for connecting with me today. 

I hope this was helpful to you.   Please let me know if you have any questions or would like to hear about a specific subject. I would love to hear from you.

With love and blessings,



  1. Ashley Gonzalez

    This is so beatifully written. I can relate 100%! This is still a battle for me everyday. Thank you for sharing this encouraging post with us.

    1. Vilmary Lopez

      Hello ashley!I’m glad I could be of help. Make sure to sign up for my newsletter!

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